Since my diagnosis I haven’t had the energy or the self esteem to do much more than just try to make it through the day. However, I was feeling good that day (all my MS ducks were in their places) and I wanted to look nice, even if I can’t compete with a movie star; but she loves me anyway.
I took a shower, and an hour and a half later, having rested from warm water shower fatigue, towel dry fatigue, hair dry fatigue, and a little more rest from all the fatigue; I smeared on some blush and eye shadow and put on a nice skirt and my best sandals. I was feeling pretty cocky if I have to say so myself.
We had a wonderful lunch on the second floor (accomplished by way of elevator – I have MS – save energy- use elevator) on the outside breezeway where we could look out at fashions and hair do’s meandering by. After a fine meal we were clearing the check and getting up to leave.
I was crossing the restaurant heading to the elevator, fully believing that the looks we were getting were at my beautiful friend AND me (hey, I’m with her). Head up and lookin’ good when I heard a male waiter say, “mam”….. I stopped.
That certainly could not be me. I’m not old enough for “mam”. I heard it again, “mam” ….. So I gave in and turned around slowly; because if I go fast I’ll get dizzy and fall down. This issue of me turning around was important to me on so many levels. Like the old movie, “….. Slowly I turned, step by step…..” to see our waiter holding up my sandals!
I have neuropathy in my feet from so much prior cancer chemo, and my feet are mostly numb and I had walked out of my sandals, not feeling a thing. As my face turned red, I lowered my head so no one could see me; and retrieved my sandals from a height that assured the waiter that my empty sandals were high enough for all to see.
As I was slithering toward the elevator I couldn’t help but think about what the Lord says in Ephesians 6 about taking up the Full Armor of God, and keep your feet fitted with the readiness of the gospel of peace……
… Well Lord, I don’t want to get in your business but maybe you forgot to say, “and assure your fitted feet remain shod so that thou shalt not embarrass thyself amongst others”
My friend struggled to maintain my dignity until we were in the elevator. An eternity was spent alone, on the elevator, our backs to the wall praying for the door to close.
Finally relief came when MJ bopped me on my shoulder with her fist. “Good job GRACE”. We cut loose and laughed to tears and sore stomachs. What a hoot! And you know she never fails to remind me of this, especially when we are in a crowd.
And so I go on……. This too shall pass…. It’s just MS right?