Give me the strength to face reality, with out fear.
Give me the nerve to move my limbs, to move my muscles.
Give me the courage to continue to fight and live. ~Courtesy of Montel Williams
People with MS can truly understand. Reading Montel’s book Living Well: 21 Days to Transform Your Life, Supercharge Your Health, and Feel Spectacular
Only people with MS can truly understand. Reading Montel’s book Living Well: 21 Days to Transform Your Life, Supercharge Your Health, and Feel Spectacularwas overwhelming. I was at a place in my life where MS had overcome me. I didn’t have energy to even lift my arms, or drag myself off the bed. For 5 years I moved as little as possible. I remembered my days of activity, hiking and bike riding.
I had heard about muscle atrophy, but I didn’t realize it was happening to me.
As the signals from my brain were not getting to my lower extremities, it felt impossible to lift my legs to exercise.
My physical therapist encouraged me to do as much as I could, then reach around and pat myself on the back for the effort. I was given simple stretching exercises to do, yet I did so little of them.
Five years later I went through a test study at Johns Hopkins, Cytoxan, and the MS was put in remission. Even though the MS wasn’t progressing, enough damage had been done that the signals were not getting from my brain to my lower limbs.
I started blogging and I defined my new reality. I was having so much fun and I neglected to exercise.
Now, almost two years later, I can feel and see the results of a sedentary life. I couldn’t deny it when (almost a year ago) I knelt down to scrub something off the carpet and couldn’t stand back up. I realized this had nothing to do with messages being sent from my brain, it had everything to do with muscle atrophy.
I didn’t have the strength to lift myself up.
Unfortunately that didn’t motivate me to exercise and strengthen my leg muscles.
I was doing a little to strengthen my upper body (only modified pushups) and riding my stationary bike but it wasn’t enough. The legs needed so much work, it felt like too much! My husband lovingly encouraged me but he didn’t understand.
Only those with MS can truly understand!
Now, even with how well I’m doing, when I walk with my walker, my thigh muscles feel ‘MSy’ ~ like lead. They feel heavy and almost tingly. Even with my walker for balance, it’s difficult to lift my knees up and march.
I have no idea what my future has in store but I will do what I can. As Montel quoted, I will move my limbs, move my muscles. God willing, I will have the courage to continue to fight and live.