An emotional roller coaster, that’s what life with MS is! My daughter Lilli was behind the camera for this update a few minutes before church on Sunday. It was fun because I’m more secure in front of the camera than I was when I started blogging so it only took a few minutes, one take. 🙂
We were right on time, I simply (as if any movement is simple with MS) needed to slip on my skirt for church and we were out of here. I wasn’t feeling stressed or uptight, just eager to get to church.
When I started down the stairs I was feeling weak. I pressed on and when I was to the downstairs hall, on my way to the garage, all of a sudden my legs buckled and I knelt down on the carpet. No pain, just surprise. I tried to stand up but my legs wouldn’t work. I asked Lilli to run up and get dad. He lifted me into a standing position, asking if I wanted to stay home. “No” I told him, “I want to go to church!”
Weird! Emotional roller-coaster for sure! A few months ago, when I was in this exact spot in the hallway, I was cleaning something off the floor and I couldn’t stand up. That’s when I realized it wasn’t only that messages weren’t getting sent from my brain to my legs, it was also my lack of strength. Now after a month of exercising, I feel myself stronger. Buckling to my knees, was definitely MS’s doing. I know that not being able to get up was only partly the MS.
I’m amazed at how unnoticeable the loss of strength was. When I was going through my first year of exacerbations (7th year of the disease), I was in training to be a respite provider for Mat-Su Services for Children and Adults.
While learning the proper way to pick up a person if need be, I had to pick up a 50lb box from the floor and carry it across the room and set it on the desk. I was able to do it, I had the strength. In between the exacerbations, the signals were getting down the nerves to my legs. I’m amazed that over the past 9 years I’ve allowed myself to get into this condition!
My goal for the month of May, God willing, is to stand up from the floor. If I can’t it will not be my fault. I’ll exercise to build the strength to lift this body up from the floor. I’ll ask my personal trainer, Holly Fulford-Jeffrey for specific exercises I need to add to my list.
Showing you my updates is accountability. Thank you!