Nobody Wants to Talk about Dying

3d rendering of signs with "LIFE" and "DEATH" pointing in opposite directionsWhen I was laid up in bed for a few years because of MS, I came to grips with death. I had already spent the previous 15 years getting close with God and I worked on making myself a better person.

Living with this chronic illness makes death seem more real.  When we are prepared to die, we can live more in peace!

Just as Tim McGraw says in his song, Live Like You were Dying; we need to become a friend that most friends would like to have, love deeply and speak kindly to others and to ourselves, give forgiveness; let go of negative emotions and make way for positive feelings of kindness, concern and peace.

When we figure out what we can do to serve others no matter our circumstances, find our purpose, we are closer to living a happy life.

I’m doing these things, yet I recognize I need to make decisions and take care of other tasks to bring peace for those I leave behind.

  •  I will write my living will.  Legacy Writer offers a free ‘living will’ form that we can simply fill out and have notarized
  • I have already started a ‘family heirlooms give-away list’ for my kids. Toni, my oldest wanted her Great Grandma’s baby-grand piano. It worked out perfectly, when she was ready to take it I was ready to give it away!  All of our family treasures are seriously junk, even the Antiques Road Show couldn’t find value.
  • I know of a company with experts in finding Term Life Insurance for people with MS if you’re interested.
  • I will talk more with our children so they can learn that death can be a positive experience.
  • I will give advanced directives one of which is the donation of my body to medical research. Donating to science is a final gift we can give to total strangers.  The organization or hospital will pay all expenses, including picking up my body. The expensive burial costs for my family will be avoided. I’m sure having MS, will make my body valuable for MS research. Donating my body to research is a final way I can give something back for my time here on earth.

I was having a particularly MSee evening yesterday and I wasn’t able to get to my computer. I almost started to focus with fear on my unknown future. Instead I said out loud to God, “I know I’ll be able to do everything that You want me to do, so what is it for now?” Here is the 500 word post that was my purpose for today.

We all know we’re going to die. Is there such a thing as a good death? Being prepared, being in control, dying in a place of choice, having pain appropriately managed and being supported by people who love me is a good way!

 

If you Google “Nobody wants to talk about dying” you’ll be given more reading material than you’ll have time to read.

If you need support on your MS journey, I’m available to chat! Click here to schedule a time to talk with Linda.

Linda

About our Co-Founder: With a bachelors in Social Work, Linda is 53 years old, happily married with eight children and 17 grandchildren. Diagnosed with MS in 1995 and now having accepted and truly embraced her new reality, Linda has created MSrelief.com. She is dedicated to proving that joy can be chosen while living with Multiple Sclerosis. Linda specializes in helping others, especially those with MS attain the lifestyle, independence and happiness amid living with MS.

9 Comments:

  1. Hey there, I think your blog might be having browser compatibility issues.
    When I look at your website in Safari, it looks fine but when opening in Internet Explorer, it has some overlapping.

    I just wanted to give you a quick heads up! Other then that, great blog!

    • Lashonda~
      Thanks for letting me know! We are working on it ~ unfortunately everything takes time! When we launched, April 1st 2012 we planned 6 months~ that gives us about 8 more weeks to get it ironed out!
      Linda

      • Hi Linda, Good luck with this new website. I came to know about this website from the comments you made on neuro film festival post.

        • Arun,
          Thank you! We are very excited about it! Obviously there are lots of changes to make but the community is growing and I know for a fact that people with MS have been helped here at MSrelief!
          ~Linda

  2. That was really splendid. I’m sharing it.

  3. I’m confused. I was just diaged with MS and now I’m reading your lecture on death.

    • Diego,
      Thank you for bringing this up! This is exactly the conversation that I wanted to have when I wrote this post! The only thing we KNOW about life is that we will die~ I believe that preparing to die, whether we have MS or are perfectly healthy will bring peace in our lives! We need to honestly prepare to meet our Maker, forgiving others for their wrongs, becoming the friend just as Tim McGraw says, like others want to have. Taking important steps like preparing a living will bring us comfort and informs others of our desires! Taking the necessary steps will put aside these worries so we can focus on living a joyful life!
      ~Linda

  4. Interesting blog Linda. I started sorting out all my affairs just to be pratical, at the end of last year. Sinple things including my life assurance company will pay the proceeds to the funeral home and I keep at least of contacts and key information for my next of kin. Oddly I didn’t find it depressing, actually I thought I was doing something positive. Being at one spirtually goes along way to being in tune with the world.

    • Peter,
      Thank you for taking the time to comment. You are so right, being at one spiritually goes a long way. The way I say it is prepare to meet our Maker, your way of saying the same thing resonates with everyone no matter what their belief is about our Maker. I agree with you, it seems a little odd, but it’s comforting to know that we are indeed taking care of our next of kin! Combined with the spiritual preparation, it’s liberating! We can enjoy our life more, whether we have 60 more years or 60 more days!

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